THE DEAD HORSE THEORY!

The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount, then get another horse.” However, in Government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: buying a stronger whip

changing riders

appointing a committee to study the horse

arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses

lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included

reclassifying the dead horse as “Living-impaired”

hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse

harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed

providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance

doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance

declaring that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses

rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses

(and, the choicest strategy) promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position

Government officials will also look to the root causes of the predicament before taking any action, i.e. what kind of parents it had, the horse’s colour, his socioeconomic background, perhaps the horse was bullied, or his mother was single, etc.

It is no wonder that, for some time now, government workers’ saddest refrain has been: It’s been so lonely in the saddle since my horse died…